


(Tattoo-)Guns N' Roses

by wearingmywings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Drug Abuse, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Minor Character Death, Nurse Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-04-04 19:53:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearingmywings/pseuds/wearingmywings
Summary: Dean's the young mechanic, dropping out of college to provide for his fourteen year old brother and taking care of everything.Castiel is covered in tattoos, likes his dates male, kind and loyal.They meet in the middle, both struggling with dark pasts and darker secrets. Will love, friendship and the support of their friends be enough to make them happy?WIP, updated once a week (usually on wednesday).





	1. Prologue: Castiel

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This work is a WIP, I got the first four chapters written and ready to go. It's based on a beautiful set of [drawings](http://winchester-reload.tumblr.com/post/161959954760/rock-on-boys) by a very talented artist, and I felt like I *had* to write a story for it. . Enjoy reading! xx

**Prologue: Castiel**

 

After closing the door to his dorm room Castiel turned around and studied his new home. Because of his scholarship and his mother's money he had gotten a single room with an outdated but kind of nice kitchenette in the corner to his left. The windows were small but clean and let a lot of the early afternoon light in, dipping the room in soft light. Opposite the door were two bookcases, already filled with folders and Castiel’s favorite pieces of literature. The books were well loved but stacked neatly, sorted alphabetically. A twin bed sat to the far right corner, cuddling up to the bathroom wall and giving an excellent view of the rest of the room, plus a small flat screen sat on a tiny table at the foot of it. At the wall sat a heavy dresser that held all of his wardrobe, meaning mainly dress pants and dress shirts made from fabric so thick that Castiel always sweated a lot in summer.

Castiel checked his wrist watch and sighed. The introduction the university offered was already almost over and he had wanted to be as early as possible for it, but several mistakes from the dorm manager had led to him being late. He hated being late.

 He kept his dark wash jeans and soft blue shirt on, changed his battered sneakers for his newer pair and left his room.

 The university advertised a lot of student clubs and Castiel was interested in quite a lot of them, the history club he signed up for first being one of his favorites.

 He exited his building and promptly bumped into someone and landed on his ass. A hand shot forward and Castiel gratefully took it, pulling himself up and facing the other person. A student with dark blonde hair, freckles and green eyes studied him with a slight smirk.

 “It’s cool,” the boy said and Castiel smiled.

Before either could say anything else, the other boy’s phone rang and he grimaced.

 “Uh, well I gotta go, sorry about that, bye!” Castiel could only look at the very nice behind of the boy walking away and regretted his shyness immensely. He continued walking across the campus, spotting different extracurriculars, fraternity advertisement and study groups everywhere.

 While looking through a booklet for a science related club, someone tapped him on the shoulder.

Before Castiel could even turn around fully, his older brother had shoved himself into his sight, plucking away invisible fluffs on Castiel’s shirt and talking a mile a minute.

 “-although you probably want to try out one of these nerdy clubs here. Can’t believe you’re going to my uni now, little bro! Gotta get you some new clothes too, got some spare money I can give you so you look a little less like the snot nosed ubernerd that you secretly are.”

 “Uhm,” Cas said.

 Gabriel grinned and slapped him on the back, making Castiel stumble a little.

 “It’s gonna be a good time, man. We got this.”

*

 Four hours later found Castiel with a lukewarm beer in his hand at someone’s party. The living room he stood in held probably thirty people, all roughly his age dancing and laughing. The smell of clean sweat, beer and perfume wafted around him as he made his way through the students and tried finding his brother.

 As he was carefully maneuvering around a kissing couple in the kitchen door he almost stumbled over a young woman sitting on the floor with a notepad and a pen in her hand.

 “Sorry,” Castiel said quickly and tried stepping around her, when he felt a hand on his ankle.

 “Hey handsome! You’re welcome to stay,” the woman on the floor said and winked at him.  

 “I don’t think I should-”

 “Don’t say no, come on! I’m all bored on my own, drawing instead of dancing, and since you almost stepped on me it’s your duty to provide entertaining company. I’m Pamela, but friends call me Pam.”

 Cas hesitated, but Pamela’s honest smile made him sit down next to her. His beer sat in front of his crossed legs as he stared at the notepad in Pamela’s lap. She was doodling on it, her tattooed hand gripping the pen with a sense of cockyness.

 “Are these your drawings?” Castiel asked and couldn’t help but touch the yellow paper. The feathers looked so real he _had_ to feel them, to see if they were really just a drawing.

 “Yes, I drew these,” Pamela said. After a minute of no reply from Castiel, she laughed. “I feel like the intense staring at my crotch gives me the right to know at least your name.”

 Castiel quickly looked back up at her face and felt warmth rush through him. He averted his eyes and fumbled with the beer bottle.

 “I apologize,” he said, “that was very rude of me. My name is Castiel. Castiel Novak. I just moved into my dorm room today and my brother brought me to this party, although I’m unsure if he’s even still here.”

 Pamela touched his left hand. “It’s alright. If you want to come up to my room I can show you more of my drawings.”

 Castiel perked up at that and nodded. “Yes please, that would be wonderful, I really think they’re outstanding.”

 “Alright, come on then,” Pamela said and they both got up. She took his hand and led him back through the living room and up the creaking stairs, through a narrow hallway to a closed door.

 “This is me,” she said and opened the door. The room was.. intense. The walls were painted black with colorful splatters of pastel on them, fairy lights in different shapes and sizes wound around the room, which held a king sized bed in the middle. The overwhelming scents of cigarette smoke and hairspray invaded his nose and he coughed once.

 “Sorry,” Pamela said as she was sitting down on her bed, “can’t seem to stop smoking. It’ll kill me, but what can I say, I like bad things.” She smirked and Cas smiled politely.

 After looking around the room for a bit he spotted her desk under the window, overflowing with papers and clothes. As he stepped closer to it he spotted the drawings pinned to the wall, showing everything from flowers to animals to skulls.

 “You’re an amazing artist,” Castiel said and Pamela walked over to him. Standing next to her, and without the strong smells of other people, he noticed her dark floral perfume and involuntarily took a small step away from her.

 “Shit, you’re really here to look at the drawings?” Pamela studied him with a raised eyebrow and Castiel stared back.

 “What else would I be-” he started saying before realizing. Immediately warmth shot up his face and he took another step away from her.

 “Oh no,” he said and Pamela started laughing. “I’m, you’re not really, uhm-”

 “You playing for the other team?” Pamela asked and Castiel nodded with a sheepish look.

 “Yes, I like men,” he said. “I apologize, I wasn’t aware you were flirting with me. I’m not very talented in reading people.”

 Pamela smiled and picked up a large folder. She handed it to him and said, “I’m a tattoo artist. If you’re interested, these are some recent designs I made that I really want to do. I’d even do it for free,” she added and grinned at him again.

 “A little good ink, maybe a piercing and boom, you’re the new heartthrob here. Welcome to the University of Kansas.”

 Castiel later tried to find out the name of the boy he ran into by talking to multiple people, but no one knew him.


	2. Prologue: Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short and I'm aware, but that's all you should know about Dean before the actual story starts. Next one will be longer x

**Prologue: Dean**

 

“I‘ll be in my room!” Sam ran past Dean and threw himself into the second door to the right. Dean just smiled and shook his head while opening the door on opposite side. The rooms were almost identical, but Sam’s view was a bit nicer. His room faced the back of the building and the small shared lawn, while Dean’s room looked out over the street.

Sam’s excitement about moving was pretty understandable, since their previous living conditions hadn’t been ideal. A small, rundown house that had their father’s name on it, only two bedrooms and constant issues with either the heating or the old pipes. Dean had slept on a couch with questionable stains, Sam’s room was almost always way too cold, but neither had dared to touch their Dad’s things and use his room.

After over a year of absence from their father and Dean barely making enough money to keep the power running, Sam had convinced him to sell the house. They put their Dad’s stuff in storage, packed their clothes and personal belongings and hightailed out of the bad house in a rough neighborhood. Their new apartment was in walking distance to the high school, the auto shop Dean worked at part-time was about a ten minutes drive away and the university  not much further. Life was gonna be better from now on; Sam believed in it and Dean did too.

Dropping his bag on the mattress, so far the only thing in his room besides dented moving boxes overflowing with all kinds of stuff, Dean started pulling off his clothes until he was down to his boxers. It was pretty late already and he had an early shift at the garage tomorrow morning, so he opted to go to bed early. His boss and long time family friend Bobby had promised to help with moving in, since the kitchen was barely existent and Sam was the only one with actual furniture. Dean had insisted on buying him a nice, big desk with extra drawers for school, which resulted on Sam forcing Dean to spend that extra money on a wonderful memory foam mattress, even if he had no other furniture.

“Your back will thank me in ten years,” Sam had said and Dean couldn’t help but agree as he was laying down on it now. This thing was pure magic.


	3. No One's Here To Sleep

**3 Years later**

 

Deafening guitar solos and the feeling of the beat thrumming deep inside of his skull were a constant companion and welcome distraction for Dean, as he made his way through the crowd of dancing, sweating and writhing college students. 'Limbo' was the most popular club close to the KU, an underground venue with bad lighting and the ever- present smell of cigarettes and cheap whiskey. Technically it belonged to the punk scene, but classic to hard- rock were played almost as often.

Dean had reluctantly agreed to join his friends in the club tonight, he had work to do and didn't really have time to be partying, but they convinced him with cheap booze and promised to get him home in time so he still had enough sleep for work the next day. He usually wasn't someone who made sure to get exactly eight hours of sleep, but after the last time he had pulled an all- nighter, which led to him almost losing a thumb in the auto shop, he paid more attention to at least getting four or five hours. Bobby hadn't been happy over the accident and Dean promptly earned himself a slap on the back of his head and a few grumbled insults.

When he had arrived at Limbo around ten minutes earlier and had weaseled his way around the bouncer outside who had been busy yelling at some snot- nosed kids who definitely weren't 21 yet, he had made his way down the narrow and crooked staircase that led to the basement of the house where the club was situated. The walls of the staircase were decorated with old and faded concert posters of all sorts, hanging crookedly on the naked brick wall, and the stairs themselves were built from dark brown wood just like the rest of the club's floor. The main room of the club was quite large, the wall on the left side had gigantic shelves built into it, displaying hundreds of different kinds of whiskey, beer and other hard liquors. A long bar made of a similar kind of wood as the floor was situated in front of it, ratty bar stools with torn up, dark red cushions sat alongside of it.

Opposite of the staircase at the far end of the room was a small stage, equipped only with a drum set and a microphone stand. Smaller bands and artists had the chance of playing there every second Friday, and the majority of them brought their own instruments. Limbo didn't make you a famous artist, but it did give you an enthusiastic crowd and, if you were lucky, a handful of groupies.

The club's walls were also just bricks but plastered with posters and stickers from small bands, to an extent that the underlying wall was barely visible anymore. To the right of the staircase was a beat down door that led to the club's bathrooms, and between the door and stage a gigantic, dark red couch was situated against the wall. When the club was crowded the couch usually didn't offer any free spots, even though it could easily seat ten people at a time, twelve if everyone was tipsy and personal space became less of an issue.

Dean walked over to the bar and spotted his friend Benny sitting on one of the bar stools, chatting with a beautiful woman next to him. His friend had told him that Benny would bring his girlfriend, so Dean assumed the woman next to him was Andrea. She had beautiful dark hair and chocolate eyes that lit up when she spotted Dean. He smiled at her as he was walking over and shook her offered hand when he reached her.

“You must be Dean!” Her voice was melodic and she seemed excited to meet him. He winked at her and gave her his classic megawatt smile.

“And you must be Andrea. Benny hasn't shut up about you since you started dating. Figured the reason would be that you're way too attractive for him,” he said and Benny shot him an amused look. Andrea just laughed and shook her head.

“If one of us is too good for the other, it's Benny. He's so wonderful and I'm glad to finally get to meet his best friend.” She waved down the bartender and replaced her empty shot glass with a deep purple cocktail.

Dean looked over at his friend and saw the blush creeping over his cheeks. He chuckled and leaned over Benny's shoulder.

“You know when you'll propose yet? 'Cause that girl's a keeper,” he whispered into Benny's ear and promptly got a smack against his shoulder.

“Shut up,” Benny growled without real malice and Dean shot him a crooked grin.

“Hey, have you guys seen Gabriel?” Dean asked and both of his friends shook their head no.

“Not in the past half an hour or so,” Benny replied and scratched his head. “Last time I saw him he was outside yelling at someone. Dunno who.”

Dean raised his eyebrows at that. Gabriel could be obnoxious, but he usually never yelled and preferred to fight his battles with annoying passive- aggressive behavior. The two of them had been friends ever since Gabe became the co- owner of the bar and moved into the old house above it, which had been used for storage before that. No one had ever seen the original owner, but rumor had it that his name was Lucifer and no one who valued their safety should mess with him.

“I'll go and look for him then,” Dean said, threw another wink in Andrea's direction and turned around. He let his gaze roam through the room that was packed with students; the stage was empty and his friend wasn't on the couch either. Dean decided to check the bathroom and made his way over to the door. Pushing it open he nearly ran into a couple that was making out in the small room which led to the men's and women's restroom and held only a ratty loveseat and a dim and dirty lamp on the ceiling. The women both ignored him and continued to happily suck at each others faces, and Dean just shot them a curious look before entering the men's room.

“Dean- o!” Gabe yelled and Dean flinched at his loud voice. His friend was sitting on the counter between the two sinks, nursing a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels and giving Dean a lopsided smile. His eyes were drooping and the smell of cheap alcohol hit Dean in the face like a hammer.

“Hey dude,” Dean said and stood next to Gabe, eyeing the bottle in his hand warily. “You think you had enough?”

Gabe grinned at him and took another sip, then handed the bottle to Dean. “There you goooo!”

Dean took the bottle and put it on the floor, then leaned back against the counter next to Gabe. His friend's slightly curly brown hair was matted down and his face was flushed, his dark blue button down was almost completely unbuttoned, soaked with sweat and reeked of cigarettes, which was weird since Gabriel didn't smoke. Quite the contrary, he always made snide comments at Dean when he pulled out his pack of cigarettes, mumbling about lung cancer and heart attacks. Dean shrugged it off each time, he wasn't a regular smoker and only smoked when he was stressed or attending a party.

When Gabe stopped looking at Dean and stared at the opposite wall, Dean did a double take at his friend's face.

“Gabe?” He asked and lifted his hand to grab Gabriel's chin. He turned his head towards him and studied the bruise on his left jaw, as well as the small amount of dried blood under his nose. “What happened?”

Gabriel's grin had faded and he gave Dean a sad look. “Alfie,” he said. Alfie was a young student, just turned 21 and had gotten his first job at Limbo recently, although him and Gabe had been friends for a few years before that. Alfie's older brother Inias had been a fellow student of Gabriel's before both had dropped out of university for different reasons. The young boy was always kind and helpful and Dean really liked him, he taught him how to mix drinks after Alfie asked him the day before his first shift started. He was clumsy but sweet and everyone had instantly liked him. Why was Gabe upset about him though?

“What about him?” Dean asked and searched his friend's eyes. Gabe swallowed and looked at his matted dress shoes, then fiddled with a lose strand of his black dress pants.

“He OD'd,” Gabriel almost whispered after a few minutes and Dean felt like his stomach just fell out of his ass. Alfie had drug problems?

“OD? With what? Why? What happened?” Dean's hands started shaking minutely and he balled them to fists to hide it.

“No idea,” Gabe replied and looked at Dean with sad eyes. “Inias called me and told me about it. He found him apparently, but it was too late and he couldn't do anything. I knew him and Inias had an argument a year ago or so because he found cocaine or something in Alfie's room, but I didn't know it was an ongoing thing. I should have known. How could I not have seen that? I should've-”

“No, Gabe,” Dean interrupted him and placed both his hands on Gabe's shoulders. “Look at me.”

Gabriel looked anywhere but Dean's face. “Gabe! Look. At. Me.” Dean gripped Gabe's shoulders harder, forcing him to look up at the sudden pressure.

“This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known, think about it. If Inias didn't know enough to stop them, and they LIVED together, how could you? Do NOT blame yourself for this, okay? This isn't your fault, man.” Dean watched with growing horror as tears started to gather in Gabriel's eyes and before he could say something, his friend was crying. Dean grimaced and pulled him into his arms, holding him tight and shushing him.

“It's fine,” he mumbled and stroked Gabe's back, “you're okay. This isn't your fault. It's gonna be fine.”

Gabe clung to him like a small child, sobbing into his shoulder while Dean whispered soft nonsense trying to get him to calm down. After a few minutes the crying stopped, Gabriel sniffed loudly and let go of him. Dean reached past him and grabbed a few paper towels, then handed them to his friend. Gabe accepted them with a grateful look and blew his nose obnoxiously loud.

“Better?” Dean asked and smiled at Gabe.

“Dumb question,” Gabriel said and threw the paper towels in the trash can under the sink. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“How'd you get the bruises? Benny said he saw you yell at someone which.. kinda isn't your thing.” Dean crossed his arms and studied Gabe's face intently.

Gabriel chuckled darkly and fingered the side of his jaw, then winced. “A dumbass complained that the bar was too slow and he didn't get his drink fast enough. I took the argument outside and, well, I won, but not without collateral damage.” The fact that the bar service most likely had been slow because it had been Alfie's turn today went unspoken.

Dean lifted his eyebrows at that. “Congratulations on your win, dude,” he said and Gabe laughed. “Don't make the fighting a habit though.”

“I believe you're throwing stones, my friend,” Gabriel said and Dean lightly nudged his shoulder.

“Fuck you, dude. My glass house if perfectly fine, thank you very much.” They both laughed and Gabe wiped away the tear tracks on his face.

“I should call Inias back. He said the funeral is in two days.” Gabriel stood up straight and took off his shirt, leaving him in only his dress pants and shoes.

“Wow, this is gross,” he mumbled as he gave his shirt a sniff and almost dropped it because of the ripe stench of sweat and smoke.

“Do you want me to pick you up? For the funeral, I mean,” Dean suggested and Gabe nodded.

“Yeah, thanks. Can you check on the bar? I’m sure he's fine out there but he isn't the most social of them all.” Gabriel balled up his shirt and went to the door.

“He?” Dean asked, confused.

“Yeah, the bartender. My brother.” Gabe fiddled with the shirt in his hands and looked at the mirror next to Dean, then quickly ran his hands through his grimy hair.

“Sure,” Dean said. “What's his name?”

“Castiel.”


	4. Young God

After Gabe left the bathroom, Dean sighed and turned around, then turned on one of the faucets and splashed cold water in his face. He let it run over his hands a bit, cooling his heated skin from the humid warmth of the club. After a minute, he turned it off and ran his wet fingers through his dark blond hair, making it stick up in little spikes. When he looked into the mirror, exhausted green eyes stared back at him. He looked beat; his helix piercing was crooked, he had dark circles under his eyes and his five o'clock shadow didn't make him look any more awake either. His tattoos were shiny from the sweat that clung to him. He had several of them, all collected over the past years.

The name of his beloved car was tattooed in bold, capital letters on his neck: Baby. His home and the love of his life. He had a big chest piece, an anatomically correct heart in black and white stretching from the hollow between his collarbones down and over his sternum. His left forearm showed a compass and a magnifying glass, around it parts of a map winding around his arm with loving details. Benny was a tattoo artist, the way they met was through their mutual love for the art of bringing emotions deep under someone's skin. 

Dean loved his tattoos with everything he got. He planned to get many more, saving some spaces for special occasions and constantly saving money for new pieces, although Pamela always gave him a generous discount, which Dean usually paid back in burgers and beer.

He fingered his ear piercing and sighed. Pretty much the second Gabe told him about Alfie, Dean had decided he'd get a small tattoo in memory of him. He already missed the quirky guy and his heart felt heavy when he thought about the fact that he'd never get an excited text message from Alfie again, where he just talked about a new drink he learned to mix or a new song he had discovered.

Dean turned around and left the bathroom to go to the bar. Benny and Andrea were gone and most of the people were dancing, leaving several of the bar stools free to take. Dean sat down and eyed the bartender curiously.

The man had his back turned to him and was rifling through the small cupboard under the booze shelves, obviously looking for something. He had dark green hair and side cuts, the green part standing up with the help of what looked like two cans of hairspray, his tight black henley stretching over back muscles and his dark washed jeans hugging an undoubtedly  _ very  _ nice ass. While Dean waited for him to turn around he fiddled with a cut on his left thumb that he had gotten in the auto shop the day before.

“I would stop fumbling with that if I was you,” a dark and rich voice suddenly said very close to him. Dean jumped slightly and looked up. A pair of piercing blue eyes stared back at him, dark brows furrowed and full lips pulled into a frown. The man had a sharply cut, stubbly jaw and had stretched ears.

“If you keep doing that, it will just open up and bleed. Do you need a band aid?” The bartender gave him a concerned look.

“Uh, yeah, that'd be great actually. Thanks,” Dean said. The man nodded and produced a small box from under the bar. He opened it and looked through it, then pulled out a small band aid.

“Here,” he said and handed it to Dean before closing the box and putting it back in the shelve.

“Thanks man,” Dean said and unwrapped it. He snorted, the thing was dark blue and had a pattern of Batman symbols all over it. “Great choice.”

The bartender laughed and shook his head. “Gabriel bought them,” he said and Dean grinned. Typical.

“Speaking of, he said you're his brother, right? Casteel?” The man chuckled and the sound of his slightly raspy laughter settled deep into Dean's bones, making him feel warm.

“Castiel. Cas- tee- el. And yes, I'm his brother. Younger, though.”

Dean went to answer, but Castiel held up a hand and quickly walked over to the other end of the bar. Dean watched him mix a fruity looking cocktail with ease, then threw the man a happy smile as he saw him coming back quickly.

“Sorry about that,” Castiel said and Dean just waved it off.

“No worries man, you're working. My fault if I decide to bore you.” Before Castiel could reply, Dean continued, “So, younger brother? How old are you?”

“I'm 22. You?” 

“Same,” Dean said and winked at him.

Cas avoided his eyes and looked at the counter. After a minute Dean noticed Cas staring at Dean’s forearm tattoos.

“Do you like them?” 

Castiel nodded and lifted his chin in answer, showing Dean his neck. He had beautifully designed doves and a sun tattooed there, half hidden by the black Henley. Dean whistled high to low and Castiel laughed, a sound that Dean had decided he liked very much.

“So, Castiel. That's an unusual name. No offense,” Dean quickly added and Cas just smiled at him.

“None taken. My parents  were very into religious studies when they were my age, and named me and my siblings after angels, it’s a family thing. Gabriel got a bit more lucky than me,”  Castiel trailed off and let his eyes roam over the crowd behind Dean.

“You lookin' for someone?” Dean asked, minutely disappointed by the possibility that the man was looking for a partner somewhere, but Castiel just shook his head lightly.

“I just wanted to see if Inias is here. He said he might come to talk to Gabriel,” Castiel said and Dean's smile slid off of his face.

“Yeah,” Dean said and swallowed. “Uh, I think Gabe said he wanted to call him?”

Castiel nodded absentmindedly and after a moment, he apparently snapped out of whatever he was thinking about and looked back at Dean.

“Do you want to try something?” Castiel asked and Dean's mind very quickly supplied him with lots of different things he'd say yes to 'trying' with this man. Dean doubted he had ever thought this about another man before, mainly since it seems like such a feminine adjective, but Castiel was.. beautiful. Absolutely stunning. Dean had never seen someone like him and he was intrigued to learn more about this handsome man with the deep voice and those eyes that looked like they could stare deep, deep into your soul. 

Castiel raised his eyebrows and Dean suddenly realized that he had just been staring at the bartender without replying, so he quickly nodded.

Without another word, Castiel turned around and grabbed three different bottles from the shelf behind him, then placed them all on the counter together with a whiskey glass and a tub of honey. He quickly mixed all of the ingredients together and handed Dean the glass.

“Try,” Castiel said, and who was Dean to decline?

Dean carefully took the glass, letting the light above the bar shine through the amber liquid. It looked delicious and smelled like honey and rich, expensive whiskey. He took a sip and hummed approvingly. It tasted even better than it looked and was hands down the best drink he had ever gotten.

“Dude,” Dean said and took another sip, letting out another throaty sound. “This is the best goddamn drink I’ve ever had. Did you come up with this?”

Castiel nodded, his eyes dark and focused on Dean's neck, who noticed but chose to ignore it. He was probably just checking out his tattoo there.

“Cas, I think this is your calling.” Dean lifted his glass at him and finished his drink, savoring every sip.

Castiel gave him a bashful look and started wiping the bar, even though it was spotless. “Thank you,” he mumbled and shot Dean a shy smile. Dean just grinned at him and winked. Even though the lighting wasn't the best, he could clearly see the faint blush lightly coloring Cas' cheeks. Interesting. 

“How did you and Gabriel meet?” Cas asked.

“When he took over here I helped him with a bit of stuff. Fixed a sink and a broken edge of the bar, shit like that. Hey, can I have a beer?” Dean looked at the different kinds of drinks displayed on the numerous shelves.

“Sure,” Cas said, “which one?”

“Whatever you would recommend .” Cas nodded at that and quickly after Dean was enjoying an ice cold beer, the harsh flavor tickling his throat.

“You helped him? Are you a carpenter or plumber then?” Cas picked the conversation back up, and Dean shook his head no.

“I'm a mechanic, but I'm quite handy with any type of tool,” Dean said and chuckled when Cas blushed again and almost dropped a cocktail glass that he was cleaning. “What do you do as a day job?”

“I’m going to nursing school and I volunteer at the retirement home downtown,” Castiel said and Dean shot him an impressed look, then raised his beer.

“To my new friend Cas, the samaritan we need and the bartender we truly desire.” Dean took a long swig of his beer and Cast laughed.

After a minute or so that both of them just spent sneaking glances at each other, Dean felt brave.

“Hey, uh, can I have your number?” Dean asked and Cas’ head moved so quickly to look at him that Dean almost flinched.

“What?” Castiel said and Dean's smile faded slowly.

“Uh, your.. phone number? Can I have it? You're nice and I thought we could, uhm, go out sometime? Maybe?” Dean concentrated on fumbling with the edges of his Batman band aid nervously. Did he overstep? Had he read the hints wrongly? Was Cas not interested? After a few seconds, he looked back up at Castiel.

The man was staring at him, although not in an angry manner. He seemed.. surprised?

“Uhm,” Cas said and his voice sounded shaky. “Yes?”

Dean looked at him confused. “Is that a question or an answer?”

Castiel balled his hands to fists before releasing them slowly, then he took out a napkin and a pen from under the bar. He started writing, although hesitating briefly. After he was done, he stared at the napkin, breathed deeply and then looked back up at Dean. The smile Cas gave him seemed a little fake, but not malicious, more like he was unsure what he was doing. Dean was completely confused by now and just let Cas do what he wanted to do, waiting for a reply or an explanation.

Cas slid the napkin with his number (and name, thank god, Dean didn't have any idea how to spell it) over the counter to Dean.

Dean picked it up and took out his phone, entering the number with the name quickly.

He finished his beer, then took out his wallet and slapped a twenty on the counter. Cas looked up at the noise and Dean grinned at him.

“I gotta go, but thanks for the drink, it was awesome. I'll text you?” Dean got up and Cas smiled softly at him, the expression mainly in his eyes, making them even more intense, but friendly.

Castiel nodded, Dean straightened his shirt and went to leave. When he reached the staircase, he stopped and looked back again. He saw Cas staring after him with an unreadable expression on his face.


	5. November Rain

As soon as Dean opened the door to the club icy wind assaulted his naked skin. He shivered and hugged himself against the cold, then power walked to where his car was parked, the beautiful black paint glinting in the yellow glow of the streetlights. He unlocked it and slid into the driver’s seat, then started the car and immediately cranked up the heat. 

The drive home was quiet, the streets empty even though it was only around one in the morning on a friday night. Soft classic rock was playing in the background and Dean hummed along to it, enjoying the drive through the dark streets.

Around twenty minutes later he arrived at his apartment building. It was nice, freshly renovated last spring and the shared front yard was filled with plants, although most of them dormant during the winter. Late november tended to bring strong winds, leaving the bushes and trees without their colored leaves and thus blowing away the red and golden magic that was the best part of this season. 

Dean  _ loved  _ the fall, it was by far his favorite. Even though he wasn’t big on celebrating Halloween, usually since it brought up bad memories, he immensely enjoyed looking at all the decorations in the neighborhood and giving out candies and chocolate to giggling small children who were always beyond excited to show off their cute costumes. 

He got out of the car and hurried to lock it and get inside the house. Opening the door to his apartment he was immediately assaulted with a disgusting smell, a mixture between smoke and something else. He quickly made his way into the kitchen and found all the windows open, his favorite pan sitting on the turned off stove containing some kind of black mass, entirely unrecognizable. As he was studying the mess that sat in his seventy dollar barbeque pan (no personal garden meant no grill), he heard soft shuffling behind him.

“Dean?” 

He turned around and saw his younger brother Sam standing in the kitchen door, his hands clasped together tightly and not meeting his eyes.

“Sam, what happened?”

Sam swallowed and scratched his head. “I uhm, I tried to. Make food? I was hungry, I don’t know why since we ate dinner like, an hour ago, but I wanted to eat something and thought I’d make an omelette.” 

Dean’s face changed from confused to.. even more confused?

“But why did you use that pan? It’s for meat, see the lines in there? And what do you mean, ‘an hour ago’? Sam, it’s after one.” 

Sam’s head snapped up and he looked at the clock on the wall above the stove. His eyes widened and he looked back at Dean, panicked.

“What? I was studying, I thought.. I need to get this essay done until tomorrow!” He shuffled over to the stove and came to stand next to Dean, then picked up a spatula and poked at the blackened food inside the pan. Sighing, he placed the utensil back on the counter and turned to face Dean. 

“Dee, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your pan, I was just really hungry and-”

Dean interrupted him by messing up his too long hair and smiled. “It’s fine Sammy. I’ll make you something. Do you need help with your school stuff? I probably won’t know what you’re talking about but I can try?”

Sam sniffed quietly. “Something to eat would be great. I don’t need help with my school work , it’s not hard but there’s just a lot of info I need to look through and compromise. And stop talking like you’re stupid, jerk.” 

Dean just sighed at that. “Grilled cheese sound okay? With bacon?” 

Sam’s face lit up and he nodded. Dean laughed and opened the fridge, pulling out a package of cheese and bacon, then produced a cutting board and two plates from a drawer and set them on a counter. 

“I’m gonna go work on my stuff a little while you cook, is that fine?” Sam looked unsure and shuffled around awkwardly in the doorway. Dean nodded and shot him a reassuring smile. 

“‘Course, dude. Go work on your stuff, I’ll bring you the food when I’m done.” 

Dean busied himself with cutting up the tomatoes, then picked a pan and set it on the stove, flicking a small piece of butter into it and watched it sizzle and melt. After a few seconds he took the bread with all the ingredients and placed it in the pan, his empty stomach immediately growling in answer to the delicious smell of melted butter. 

While he waited for the bread to turn golden brown he went to let the expensive (and now probably completely ruined) pan soak in the sink, drowning it in hot water and dish soap. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

Sam was absolutely acing the junior year of High School right now. The kid was smart as hell, determined and Dean was convinced he’d make it far. He took more AP classes than anyone in his year and produced straight A’s, however Dean had started to see that it was taking a toll on him. His little brother slept less, ate less and seemed jumpy as hell, he had been too tired for watching a movie or basically doing  _ anything  _ that wasn’t studying. 

Dean shook his head, turned off the stove and placed the food on two mismatched plates. He went to Sam’s room and had to knock with his elbow. 

“You better open up twerp, or I’m eating your grilled cheese.” 

Dean heard rustling, a bang, a groan and then the door opened revealing Sam who rubbed his knee. He pouted and took one of the plates from Dean. 

“Don’t make jokes about stealing my food dude, I just hit my knee on my desk and half of my notes fell off of it,” Sam complained and Dean laughed.

“Steal _ your  _ food? If you wanna pick up a shift or two at the garage to buy yourself some more grilled cheese, feel free,” Dean joked and plopped down onto Sam’s bed, digging into his meal. When he didn’t hear his brother eating, he looked up and found Sam looking at him with sad eyes.

“You know I said I could try and get a job,” Sam said. “I can help. I mean, I’d have to recoordinate my studying and change the schedules and it’ll be tough but I can -”

“Wow, hey, hold up,” Dean interrupted him and balanced his plate on Sam’s pillow. “That was a joke, Sammy. You don’t have to go look for a job, I want you to just give your best at school and live your life like a somewhat normal teenager.”

Sam’s eyes seemed glassy and  _ oh god please don’t let him cry _ .

Naturally, Sam started crying.

He flung himself into Dean’s arms who just wordlessly hugged him tightly, trying to soothe whatever storm of emotions was going on inside his baby brother’s head right now. It’s not like Dean didn’t like taking care of him, he  _ loved  _ having Sam with him, but it was hard sometimes. They were fine with money; they weren’t swimming in it but they had more than they’ve had when Dean was younger and both of them were still living with their dad. 

Bobby had recently offered Dean the position as co- owner of the auto shop, even though he had wanted to refuse to take it, Bobby had convinced him in the end.

“You got a boy to feed,” Bobby had said. “Take the money and take care of him, ya hear me?” 

Dean had just nodded, grateful for the support and life had been easier since then. He worked less for the same money and spent more time with Sam and his friends. He recently took an evening off of work to visit Sam’s theatre production, which had definitely been the highlight of his year.

Sam had been silent in Dean’s arms for a minute now and Dean softly nudged his shoulder to check if he was fine. Sam climbed off of Dean’s lap and sat back down at his desk in front of his now cold grilled cheese.

“Sammy.. don’t ever feel bad, about anything, okay? It was my choice to get you here, I  _ want  _ you here and you know I earn enough for the both of us. Hell, if I’d cut back on the bars a little we could probably take a small vacation soon, spend the weekend somewhere. You wanna do that?”

Sam gnawed at his lip before replying. “I’d love to, but Dean, you’re already doing enough. More than enough! I don’t want you to cut back on anything just so I can have more. I don’t need a vacation, I just need you.”

Great. Now Dean felt like someone had gripped his heart way too tight and tried  _ really  _ hard not to show it. His brother was still a snot nosed kid, but damn it if he wasn’t a more decent human than the majority of adults Dean encountered in his day to day life. Instead of saying any of that though, he just picked his food back up and gestured at Sam to do the same.

Together they munched their dinner in comfortable silence until Dean remembered something he had wanted to ask Sam. 

“Hey, do you still wanna do something with medicine later? I met this guy who’s a nurse, maybe he can tell you something about it?” Dean licked the melted cheese off his thumb while Sam chewed his last bite.

“That would be great actually,” Sam said. “In january we have these presentations about jobs we’re interested in and we need someone who actually  _ does  _ the job we’re talking about. I wanted to maybe pick something with law, but I don’t know anyone.”

“Well, I’m friends with him, maybe I can ask the next time I see him? I’m sure he’d love to help. He does all this nice stuff, he volunteers too, for a retirement home I think he said. Pretty neat dude.”

Sam stared at him and Dean just raised his eyebrow. “What?” 

“‘Pretty neat dude’? Since when do you describe an actual person as ‘neat’?” Sam shot him an incredulous look and Dean struggled to find an answer to that. 

“What’s wrong with neat? Neat is.. nice. I don’t see your problem,” Dean said and Sam huffed out a laugh.

“Sure Dean. Go ahead and text that  _ neat dude _ , please. But only for me, of course. Not because you wanted to and were too chicken to do it.” 

Dean stood up and stacked their plates on top of each other, then flicked Sam’s ear who gave him a surprised yelp.

“Okay, one, I only met him like an hour ago and wouldn’t text so early, and two, I think there’s more important stuff you should overanalyze right now, like your essay.” 

Sam just gave him a groan in reply and started collecting a sheer endless amount of notes from the floor under his desk. Dean just rolled his eyes, left the room but kept the door ajar in case his brother did end up needing his help, then went back into the kitchen to rinse the plates and check on the pan. 

He carefully poked around in it with a dirty spoon (also from the sink, he forgot to do the dishes this morning) which did.. nothing. It was basically still tar. Awesome. 

Dean just dumped the rest of the plates into the sink, not caring enough to clean and dry them completely. He left the kitchen and went to the bathroom opposite Sam’s room. Laundry baskets almost made him trip when he went in and as he tried to step around them he successfully jammed his foot into the cap of his toothpaste that had gotten lost in the morning rush apparently. Hissing he threw the cap across the room, rubbing his heel. He pulled off his shirt, dumping it on one of the three already existing laundry heaps on the floor around the room, the light blue tiles hidden beneath what looked like weeks worth of clothes. He then got out of his jeans and kicked away his plain green boxers and stepped into the small shower. 

The second the hot water hit his skin, he gave a satisfied groan as he felt his muscles relax under the steady stream. Work had been tough, his back hurt and he was tired. He slowly rinsed his hair and squeezed a generous amount of lime body wash on his hand, then took his time washing the rest of the body to scrub Limbo’s stench off. When he reached his groin he felt his half- hard dick nudge against his hand. Huh.

He shrugged and tugged at his dick which filled quickly and, after a few seconds, stood proudly curved upwards against his belly. Closing his eyes he gave himself a few languid strokes, his mind reaching for the favorites of his spank bank. After a few minutes of not having the most spectacular jack- off session of his life, his thoughts wandered to the man from the bar. 

Castiel. Cas. His strong jaw, muscular back and piercing eyes filled Dean’s head and he felt a spark travel from his spine low into his belly, warming him up as he thought about Cas’ hands, strong but elegant while mixing a drink. Dean quickly got closer and couldn’t help but imagine what those beautiful eyes would look like watching him from below, Cas on his knees as they took a shower together, rivulets of warm, soapy water running over his face while his pink lips were stretched wide around Dean's cock.

With a muffled moan he came, biting his lip to not make too much of a noise. He let the shower wash away his come while he leaned on the wall and tried to slow his breath and heartbeat. He slowly blinked his eyes open again, his hand still loosely wrapped around his softening dick. Pretty much immediately he was hit with a wave of ‘what the fuck, Dean’. Jacking off to a guy he barely knew at all? Nice move.

He groaned, this time in pure annoyance and turned off the shower. He stepped out of it and picked up a towel to wrap around his hips, then went over to the sink to the fogged up mirror. Wiping the mist away he studied his reflection, then ran his hands through his hair to make it spiky and less like ‘drowned dog’. He looked refreshed, miles better than what he looked like in Limbo’s bathroom, however the tiredness in his bones was ever- present these days. 

Dean brushed his teeth but ignored the little packet of floss in the cabinet under the sink, because fuck flossing, then went to his room. He dropped the towel on the floor, pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and flopped down on his bed at precisely two in the morning w


	6. If I Had a Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the few days delay! I was sick (again) and it was kinda stressful here. Please excuse any typos or weird things you might find, I wanted to get this uploaded asap. Enjoy :)

A few days went by with work being exhausting but nice and his classes being boring and mostly annoying. His friend Ash, whom he had most of his classes with, tried to drag him into heated discussions about.. pretty much everything, from the best recent video games over lasagna recipes to a detailed review about a recent sample of sativa he had acquired ‘somewhere, bro, does it matter?’.

On thursday almost a week after Dean had been to Limbo he got a call from Gabriel while he was at the university researching for his current economics paper. He quickly muted his phone after receiving a death glare from the librarian, packed together his things and went outside for a break to call back. Gabe picked up on the second ring.

“Sup Bro!” Gabriel's cheerful greeting made Dean grin every time.

“Hey Gabe, why’d you call? If you need me at the bar tonight I’m sorry but Sam got this school thing and maybe he needs my help so if you-” 

“No no, nothing like that,” Gabe interrupted. “I was actually asking if you wanted to have a pizza slash macaroni and cheese slash other junk food with a shitty movie happening tonight, but if Sam needs your help I guess we have to do it some other time?” 

Dean scratched his stubbly cheek and thought about it for a second. Sam wasn’t sure he needed him and if Gabe came over he’d still be available to help his brother. 

He voiced that to Gabriel and got a clearly unsatisfied noise back. “But I have to  _ control  _ myself then, bro. No swearing, no booze, gotta be a shinin’ example after all.” 

“Dude,” Dean groaned. “Sam is sixteen, not ten. You can swear all you want and have a drink, just don’t go too strong on the poison, alright?”

“Okey-dokey. I’ll bring the pizza, anything Sam doesn’t like?” 

Dean thought for a second and then laughed. “He probably wants the part with the most veggies on it, he hates meat lover’s. Apart from that, nothing extraordinary.”

“Sure thang. Oh and, can Cas come? He’s been busy with stuff the whole time and I’ve barely seen the dude, would be nice if we could hang out together. Not to overshare, but my little bro could use a friend that isn’t intimidating because he’s so fabulous.”

Dean snorted at that. “I guess you mean he needs a friend that isn’t you? Even though the fabulous part could be argued but, eh-”

“Careful brosef, I pay you. Now get back to whatever you were doing and I’ll see you at seven. Bye-o!” Gabriel hung up before Dean could say goodbye and he just shook his head. He looked forward to spending the evening with him though, it’s been a while that they’ve met without work being the reason. Cas coming along would definitely be interesting as well, even though Dean had the slight suspicion that Cas didn’t know of his luck yet, if Gabe’s usual planning was an indicator. A few years back he showed up at Dean’s door and pretty much kidnapped him on a three day road trip across the country, therefore Dean wouldn’t be surprised if Cas had no clue about the evening plans.

Dean went home and asked Sam if he was okay with Gabriel and Cas coming over. His brother got excited at the promise of pizza and said he didn’t mind at all. If there were any pointed looks or jokes about Cas coming along, well, Dean was happy to ignore them. 

He tidied up the apartment a little, mainly collecting some trash and some cups and plates that were strewn across the living room, then quickly showered. It was half past six when he went into his room, dropped his towel and rifled through his closet to find something to wear. He picked his favorite pair of medium wash jeans, softened over the years, with one of his older Led Zep shirts and a plaid shirt in dark green. He felt comfortable and checked his hair in the mirror after getting dressed to make sure it was just the right side of spiky but casual. He didn’t want to  _ look  _ like he made an effort, after all.

When he had finished with everything he dropped down onto the couch and took a moment to collect himself. He felt bad for being so excited about the fact that Cas was coming too since his main focus should be spending time with Gabe, but he couldn’t help it. Cas.. intrigued him. He was different, he was incredibly attractive and Dean vehemently pushed away the word ‘crush’. People don’t have crushes on other people after meeting them once, that was just silly. Besides, Dean didn’t even know if Cas was into dudes. He was, if his blushing and overly friendly and caring demeanor in the bar had been an indicator, but some people just behaved like that.

His train of thought was successfully interrupted by the door bell ringing.

*

Cas threw the latex gloves in the trash, turned on the faucet and scrubbed his hands to try and get rid of the smell the gloves always left on his skin. After a few minutes of soaping and rinsing and more soaping he was content the stench was gone, turned the water off and dried his hands on one of the small soft pink towels. He hung it back on its hook and left the bathroom. 

Entering his bedroom he went over to the tall closet. It was built with dark, rich wood, as was the rest of the furniture in his room, coupling with the wall and accent colors to create a comforting and soft atmosphere. The big double windows above his queen sized bed provided the room with enough light to prevent it from seeming too dark. The majority of wallspace was taken up by shelves filled to the brim with books of all sorts, sorted by category and then by author; Cas liked his books neat and quickly accessible. The stacks of books on the floor next to the door however indicated that he might have to invest in some more storage space, he just couldn’t seem to stop buying books: well loved from garage sales, fresh and crispy from online sellers or limited editions purchased at his favorite bookstore. 

He opened the closet and looked through his dress shirts on one side, decided that those were too formal for a night with friends and picked an indigo button down with long sleeves. Deciding to keep wearing the jeans he had on at the moment he took off his shirt that was specked with various stains and discarded it into the laundry bin next to the door to his bathroom. It was situated at the left of the room opposite the closet and fit snugly between the shelves next to it. They had been measured and then changed for him to fit this room and he loved it like nothing else in this entire house, the only exception being his garden. It was, however, dormant at the moment since it was too cold for the majority of his plants which led him to spend most of his time indoors and in his room reading. 

As he was buttoning his shirt he stepped in front of the mirror on the inside of one of his closet doors and sighed when he spotted the coffee specked on one of his pant legs. He finished buttoning the shirt, then took off the jeans and checked them for more stains, finding none besides the ones he had already found. The jeans then went to give the dirty shirt some company in the laundry bin and Cas chose another pair, the only one he had left now. 

Since dress pants seemed too formal he could only wear his second pair of jeans which were dark washed, expensive and technically half a size too small. They had been something he had bought after saving up for a good pair for years while being incredibly poor and he had loved them back then. Now though, he didn’t like them fitting so snugly since he always felt somewhat exposed in them, especially after a handful of bar incidents where a patron had thought that tight fitting jeans were an invitation for staring and grabbing. Gabe had thrown them out but Cas never wore the jeans again after that.

Now, however, a night in with his brother and Dean seemed like a safe place and not a situation where he should feel uncomfortable. Even though he had only met Dean once he trusted his brother’s judgement to not be friends with him if he was a bad person. After everything, Gabe was careful with the people he talked to and especially with the people he introduced Castiel to. 

His brother had told him that Dean had been taking care of a younger brother, Sam, for years and they lived together a few minutes away from the high school in town. It was quite far from KU but more practical for Dean’s brother which had apparently been the reason that they chose their apartment. Castiel wondered what the reasoning for that was and where Dean’s parents were, but Gabriel had told him that it wasn’t his story to tell and that Dean would talk about it if he wanted to. Cas accepted that and stopped asking questions then. 

Cas stepped in front of his mirror again and tried to tame his hair. He hadn’t had time to put in hairspray again and his top hair had gotten quite long, although he started liking it and wore it in a less extreme mohawk now than he did a few years ago. It was easier to maintain and he thought the thicker strands suited him better than singular spikes. Right now though it was fluffy and fell on to his forehead, the green washed out a little and fading into the dark of his roots. He ran his fingers through his hair and decided it was good enough for tonight. 

His phone buzzed with the alarm he had set for five minutes before Gabe was supposed to pick him up, so Cas pocketed his wallet, turned off the lights in his room and went downstairs. He put on some old sneakers and got outside, locked the door and then spotted Gabe’s bright red porsche pulling into a parking spot directly across the street. Cas checked for any cars or bike riders and then quickly walked over to Gabriel’s car. As he opened the door and slid into the passenger seat he was greeted with Gabe’s very loud and off-key rendition of  _ Bed of Roses _ .

“Evening little bro,” Gabe said after an epic finish of his song, “I see the jeans are back.”

Cas self consciously smoothed his hands over his thighs, feeling the thick denim underneath them. “I had nothing else to wear,” he said and Gabe shot him a grin.

“It’s fine, you look great in them. Should wear them more often,” Gabe suggested and Cas shook his head no.

“You know why I don’t wear them,” Cas said and Gabriel just hummed in reply.

They made their way towards the opposite side of the town, driving past a park and Cas’ favorite organic grocery store, passing the hospital Cas worked at and arriving at an apartment complex with a small garden in the front. 

They got out of the car and Gabe rang the doorbell while Cas blew into his hands, the cold air attacking the cracked skin on his knuckles and letting pain zing through them. After a few seconds the door buzzed and they went inside, Dean greeting them at the top of the small staircase.

“Hey guys,” he said and gave Gabriel a hearted hug, while Cas stood a little behind and let his eyes wander over Dean. The slightly taller man was wearing a dark green shirt that brought out the color of his eyes, with jeans that looked like they should be actually illegal. Cas snapped back to himself when the noise of Gabe slapping Dean on the back interrupted his thoughts and Dean stepped forward to shake Cas’ hand. A soft smile passed between them and Dean gestured towards the open door.

“After you,” he said and Cas tentatively stepped towards the apartment door. “Your brother’s probably already raiding the snacks, so I’d hurry if I was you.” 

Cas smiled at him more openly and stepped through the door fully. He found himself standing in the small but tidy living room of the apartment, a comfortable looking cream colored couch facing a flat screen that was mounted on the wall to his left. The walls were painted a soft light green color and complimented the light hardwood floor nicely, as did a matching coffee table that had a few bowls sitting on it, undoubtedly holding the mentioned snacks, Cas couldn't really see the contents yet. To his right a few mismatched coat hangers were situated at different heights on the wall, one holding Gabriel’s denim jacket (which he had dyed a flaming red for reasons Cas didn't quite understand). The kitchen was open, a counter running parallel to the back of the couch and creating a small hallway that held a few more closed doors. 

Even though the colors were soft and not invasive, Dean had picked one striking thing to give their apartment character: the walls held probably dozens of vintage looking band posters, some advertising a new album, others listing concerts in the entire country. All of them were framed and hanging at the same height, giving them a mixed look of wild but organized. Cas spotted a few signatures on some of the posters as well and couldn't help but step closer to the one next to the apartment door. He recognized Pink Floyd’s Dark side Of The Moon, the corners a little wrinkled under the frame’s glass. 

“I found that one in a vinyl store,” Dean said and ran his fingers over the frame. “I was looking for the last few albums I didn't have yet and this was tucked between the record and the rest of the shelf. The sales guy said I could keep it and I bought the frame right away. Do you like them?” He gestured towards the other walls and Cas nodded. 

“They're wonderful,” Cas said and Dean beamed at him.

“Can you knuckleheads stop bonding over posters? I'm was told there would be food and entertainment, but I'm starving and bored.” Gabriel followed his comment with a pillow that hit Dean square in the chest. 

“Shut up,” Dean shot back and threw the pillow back. He gave Castiel a lopsided smile and pointed to the the couch.

“Pick a spot and let’s watch some movies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, the next chapter might come early and it will definitely pick up where we're leaving here. :)


	7. Lights & Motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the week's delay! I'm not at the top of my game mentally and also had some preparations for my birthday on the 25th, sorry to keep you waiting. I played around with some things this chapter and would love some feedback! x

Castiel kept noticing all the things around him. The worn couch cushion he was sitting on, the light breeze that flowed in every now and then from the cracked window in the kitchen behind them, the vibrations of Dean laughing during a the movie. The subtle smell of laundry detergent and something earthy every time Dean leaned across him to grab a handful of popcorn. The soft hair over Dean’s ears that moved an infinitesimal amount every time the breeze from the kitchen window came in. 

Castiel noticed Dean.

How could he not, sitting pressed up to him because his own brother took over half of the couch himself. A knee shifting against a thigh, an arm brushing against a hand; they were constantly touching and Castiel was absolutely fascinated with every movement and touch and anything else he could notice. He began ignoring the movie in favor of letting every single nerve in his body soak up what Dean was giving him, consciously or not.

Touch was not something Castiel was well versed in. He had never had a relationship, never knew what the fire behind someone’s recollection from a one night stand meant, couldn’t understand the drive to expose oneself to another person and being vulnerable, intimate. Gabriel once said that it’s because of Castiel’s trust issues, the lack of a supportive family standing behind him, few friends and fewer dates. Castiel thought his brother was probably right, although it didn’t help him much. The internet didn’t give him a good manual of how to deal with issues like that. 

Crushes were also something Castiel just didn’t have. He kept being told that he was  _ hot  _ or  _ handsome _ , yet he never really felt a pull to another person before. 

Before.

Now, with Dean’s leg pressed up to his, the crinkle of his eyes when he laughed about a joke, the pleasant smell of his freshly washed flannel touching Castiel’s nose, he understood. Dean was beyond physically attractive, he radiated a quiet confidence, a strength and protectiveness that fascinated Castiel beyond his understanding. Dean felt safe. 

Castiel stifled a huff at that thought, he barely knew the man and never took himself as someone who’d believe in chemistry or love at first sight, but here he is, all the nerves on his left side screaming at him about the warm contact. 

The booming sound of the credits rolling tore him out of his thoughts and he looked to Dean only to find him already staring back at him. 

“You okay there Cas?” Dean asked with a soft smile. “Kinda looked like you didn’t really like the movie that much, you can pick what we watch next time.”

Castiel felt like he almost had to physically stifle the excited jump his heart made at Dean’s implication that there would be a next time. He nodded and Dean grinned at him, then got up and collected the empty beer bottles. 

The coffee table was littered with candy wrappers, a huge bowl that once held popcorn plus two banana peels from when Sam had joined them for half an hour during a study break. Dean raised his eyebrows as he collected them, dramatically dropping them into the popcorn bowl and shaking his head as he carried everything into the kitchen. 

As Castiel got up, an obnoxiously loud ringtone blared from Gabriel’s phone, playing an odd sounding pop song, and his brother scrambled to answer it. 

“What?” He barked into the receiver and pursed his lips as he waited for an answer. Castiel silently collected some trash that had fallen off the table and made his way into the kitchen to give his brother some privacy. Dean was fumbling around in the sink as Castiel stepped up behind him.

“Excuse me, where do you put your trash?” 

Dean jumped and several small blobs of foamy dish soap splattered everywhere. He turned around to Cas, who had gone completely stiff at the sudden reaction and gave him an exasperated look before laughing.

“Damn Cas, it’s rude to sneak up on people.” Castiel rolled his eyes a little, grabbed a dry dish towel from the counter and started wiping away the droplets of soapy water. 

“Maybe you should pay better attention to your surroundings Dean,” he said and Dean barked another laugh. 

“Yeah maybe,” he said and lightly nudged Castiel with his elbow. “Trash can is under the sink here, so you gotta wait a sec until I’m done.” 

Castiel nodded and turned to leave again before spotting some bubbles on Dean’s face. He slowly walked up to him and lifted his hand to dab away the wetness on Dean’s temple with the slightly damp towel, the man in question silently watching him. 

“You got some dish soap here,” Castiel said and and watched Dean’s adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. He replied nothing and Castiel continued to softly run the towel over Dean’s face. 

“Dish soap can be very drying to the skin so I wanted to make sure it doesn’t stay on your face,” Castiel said and Dean’s eyes flicked over his face. 

“You have a little bit more here,” Castiel whispered almost, lowering the towel to Dean’s upper lip where a tiny group of bubbles happily sat on his reddish stubble, oblivious to the inner stress they brought Castiel. 

He very carefully dabbed away the wetness and tried not to notice Dean’s eyes continuously studying his face. The bubbles were gone and Castiel let his arm sink back to his side. 

“Thanks Cas,” Dean said hoarsely. They were standing close, Castiel’s chest almost touching Dean’s upper arm, and Castiel began to ask himself if it would be presumptuous of him to lean even closer, when they were interrupted.

“Yo guys,” Gabriel hollered and joined them in the kitchen. Castiel immediately stepped back from Dean, who cleared his throat and pulled the sink’s plug. 

“What,” Dean said and Gabriel raised both eyebrows.

“Just wanted to say that they need me at the bar,” he explained and Castiel frowned. 

“It’s your night off,” he said and Gabriel nodded. 

“Some idiot started a fight and the police is there, apparently they damaged one of the bathrooms as well. Gotta go and check it out.” Gabriel groaned theatrically and walked over to the coat hangers to grab his jacket. 

“Dean-o, would you be so kind to bring my baby bro home later? Kinda planned on staying longer and it looks like you two get along  _ very _ well.” He gave them a lascivious wink and Dean grimaced. 

“Yeah sure,” he said and nodded to Castiel. “I can drive you home whenever you want. Sam goes to sleep in half an hour or so, I want to tell him goodnight and can drop you off at home any time after that then. We could watch an episode of something, maybe a sitcom? Think I still got some ice cream left,” Dean trailed off and went to rifle through the freezer. 

“Fantastic!” Gabriel grinned smugly and opened the door. “Later alligator!” The door slammed and Dean produced two pints of ice cream from the fridge, then turned around to Castiel and handed him one.

“Dude, your brother is a living cliché.” 

Castiel smiled and accepted the dessert. “Believe me, I know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you like it? :) i'll try and update again asap to make up for the kinda missing chapter you got now. :)


	8. Information for my readers, dont panic!

Hello!

Thank you to everyone who read this work so far and liked it, subscribed to it or left a comment.

I decided to start this exact story again, because the original idea is something slightly different than what I created here. Since it went off the path that I had imagined for it, I find myself unable to continue working on this. No chapter ideas are working because it just doesn't fit what is in my head. 

So, this story will not be lost, but rewritten over time and then continued. I'm truly sorry, but I felt like this was the best option to continue telling this story. I can't write something nice if I don't find the inspiration for it. 

I'm starting in the next couple of days, I will leave updates here. 

Lots of love to all of you,

wearingmywings <3

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me on tumblr at wearingmywings.tumblr.com for more Deancas!


End file.
